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“We thought we’d be home quickly but now, thirteen years later, we’re still here in a refugee camp.”
Assia lives with her husband and seven children in Northern Lebanon. She is sitting inside their shelter, built from salvaged materials: wood planks, chicken wire, torn tarpaulin, concrete blocks, and a roof weighed down by car tyres.
Assia is from Syria. When violence forced her to flee her home, Assia hoped to return after a short while. Adjustment to life as a refugee was daunting.
“We worried about living in a tent,” Assia says. “We didn’t know how we could get enough food or water. Every time my children asked when we would go home, I told them hopefully soon. I felt like we were a burden to Lebanon, especially because they have their own problems with electricity and water.”
In ordinary circumstances, being a parent is hard. The weight of the future oscillates between the lightness of hope and the heaviness of worry. For refugee parents, living in a makeshift shelter far from home, the future can weigh a ton.
Concern and the European Union
With funding from the European Union, Concern provides psychosocial support and positive parenting programmes to Syrian refugees, stateless persons, and vulnerable Lebanese. These programmes address the social and emotional needs of struggling parents like Assia, through sessions focusing on mental health awareness and self-care.
Assia’s parenting style was, like most, shaped by her own childhood experiences. “I used to discipline my kids with physical punishment, “Assia says. “I thought this was the right way to teach them.”
When Assia began attending parenting sessions organised by Concern, she experienced a difference in her home life. She learned more effective and compassionate approaches to parenting. “Through the sessions, I learned a different approach,” she says. “I discovered that understanding my children and letting them express their feelings was important.”
Assia moved away from physical punishment. “Now, instead of reacting with anger, I use patience and kindness,” she says.
Assia began to focus on how she communicated with her children, emphasising positive body language and expressions. “I make an effort to highlight and reinforce my children’s positive behaviours instead of just focusing on their mistakes.” This shift has strengthened her relationship with her children, making it “stronger and more resilient than before.”
Through attending the sessions, Assia learned of the harmful effects of violence on child development. “I have become more aware of the impact that all forms of violence can have on a child.” She noted a change in her mentality, especially regarding early or child marriage, a practice prevalent in her family.
Assia learned to practice self-care through constructive activities: “When I feel stressed, I take walks or do house chores to make myself feel better.”
“These parenting sessions have been very helpful, and I hope we can have more of them. I think all mothers should attend these sessions because they offer great support and advice.”
Assia’s biggest wish is for her children to return to their studies. “Education is very important,” she says. Assia dreams of leaving the refugee camp and living in a proper house. She believes that “having a proper house would make our lives better.” She is motivated by the desire to provide a stable environment for her children.
Names have been either changed or withheld.